Shawn's F.A.C.T.s

June 17, 2011 – 6 Months

6 months. It was 6 months ago when I was told I have cancer. And it’s been 3 months since I’ve gotten done with chemo treatments. When I think about it, it really doesn’t seem all that long ago. It’s almost as if I just got done with treatment a couple weeks ago. Crazy.  In a week or so I will get my first scans since pre-chemo and see if I’m still clear. It will be a moment where I hold my breath and see if my live changes again or if I will continue on this path of recovery.

Right now I’m more nervous about it than scared. Not sure why. Maybe it’s because I’ve been living my life as normal as possible lately and haven’t really had as many days thinking about it all. Maybe it’s because I’m just not as scared of it anymore. Or maybe it’s because I have a really strong feeling that I’m finally gonna be outta the woods and be ok. Whatever the reason is, I’m ok. I feel good and ready to get on with the next chapter in my life.

My life over the last 6 months changed drastically. And not just the physical aspects of being sick and treating it, but the mental aspect of it all too. My faith grew stronger, my outlook on life is a bit different, and my perspective on things is much clearer. Before everything happened my dreams and goals and life were set. I knew what I wanted to do in life and how I was going to approach it. I had plans and backup options for those plans if they changed. But never did I expect to get sick and diagnosed. No one did or ever does. But it happened and now it has changed the way I approach life. I no longer plan things for the next year, next 3 years, or next 5 years. Of course, I still have goals in mind and things I want to do in life, but it’s hard to look at things in the long term because I don’t know what’s going to happen. So I try to take things as they come. I only plan for what’s going to happen in the next 1-3 months or 3-6 months. I live my life more in the moment and what’s happening now. I take advantage of living life now and making plans for now in the short term because who knows if I’ll be able to do it 6 months from now or next year or the year after that. I have a new thirst for life and I’m gonna live it up.

(In a couple of weeks I’m going to go on a week-long kayaking trip in Oregon with other cancer survivors my age. I’ll let you all know how it goes. )

I know it may be weird or even crazy to say this but it was both a blessing and a curse. A curse for the obvious reasons, but a blessing in so many others. It sucks that a scary and deadly disease had to come in my life and open my eyes but it did. Since being diagnosed, not only me but those closest to me have gained a new appreciation for life. It makes you really appreciate and feel thankful for the opportunities and blessings you have or have had in your life. You learn to not take things for granted. I have since learned to take things as they come and live life one step at a time. What has happened to me may have given others perspective on life, and it may have given others strength and courage, but it has also made me an even stronger and better person. 

I am so grateful for being able to get thru the toughest challenge of my life. And I couldn’t have done it without the support and prayers of you, and my family and friends. Again I thank you all for your continued support and positive words and thoughts. It is a blessing for me to still be here on this Earth and continue on this journey/adventure we call life with you all. Much love.